old friend
5:26 a.m. || October 27, 2007
Dear Diary,
I can't sleep and for some reason I opened up my computer and started writing again. It started with a simple sentence "I should get back to my writing" and from there it turned into a paragraph. It felt good to write again, like I had met an old friend again. It has been too long.
Some updates about my life. Referring to my last entry, I did study for the exams but I didn't get into university. Nope I started in a University of Applied Science this fall studying international business. I'm happy with it though, I don't think I would have made it in the university anyways, too much reading.
I also left my job because of studies and found a new one.
In fact, you could say there's nothing same about my everydaylife anymore than what it was only three months ago. After my cousin moved out in March I lived alone until the end of August when my new roommate Heidi moved in. I have to say she was a real lucky strike!
We didn't know each other from before but we've become really good friends. Miinus is still alive, he'll be 16 in couple of weeks.
After feeling like I had my life on a "pause" button for the past two years, it feels like it's on "play" again. I'm moving towards. I have a goal in my life again. I have more people in my life. I'm more outgoing and it suits me fine, because even though at the age of 23 I'm on the older half of our class, I don't feel old. I have no responsibilities, no boyfriend, no family to look after, only my cat. I'm free and loving it!
Only thing I'm worried about is my weight. It started to go up as soon as I started school. Lot of it has to do with the change my life went through and so it was easy to comfort myself with food. I think I'm mostly adjusted to these changes now, so it's time to watch the weight a little bit as well.
I don't want to go back to the way I was.
I'm happy that I have Heidi here. I have someone to talk to when my demons start to get back at me. This week we had a vacation. I've been at home, doing nothing and I've been a bit sick. My old demons have been raising their heads, telling me nobody likes me and nobody wants to hang out with me. I know I shouldn't mind and I know I sould stay strong. There are people who I'm not hanging out with but it doesn't matter because I'm not sure if I even want to. I've already found my friends and allies from our class. That should be fine. I think I need to bring this up with Heidi tomorrow. Talking about it makes it seem sillier.
Too bad it's such an old demon. Of course then, I should know how to fight it.
Luckily school starts again next week and I won't have time to think about these silly things.
I'm hoping that I'll stay strong with my eating habits and have the will, with Heidi, to go for a walk every now and then. Exercise will help fight the demons.